Sometimes we are so exhausted in our current states that we don’t want wait for what is going on in the heavenly realms. We are so tired because we are not waiting patiently, we are pacing ourselves into exhaustion. I will never forget when I learned what it meant to Pace. Me and my husband had lost custody of our son to his mother, and that was not a good situation. She was at that time making bad life choices and based on a medication machine malfunction we lost custody. We were innocent and yet we were without our child and we felt utterly defeated. My step son was receiving growth hormone shot once a day and the machine was not showing up. Based on this it looked like we were negligent parents. I remember our daughter was less than 2 months old and we paced from the living room to the kitchen every day feeling helpless. We paced because there was nothing else to do at that point. We went to the doctor office and they believed we were negligent as well. It wasn't until we were on our way home from the MD appointment and had the shot machine record.
He called our lawyer, on the way home from that visit, and our lawyer asked point blank “Did you give it.” Nic said “I thought I did, but I guess I didn't Our lawyer asked him again “No either you did or you didn't which is it. I could see the amount of defeat on my husband and then I looked at him after that phone conversation “There is no way Nic, I watched you give the shot.” I told him emphatically. I am a nurse by trade so I did what any mom nurse would do, I pulled the UPS stickers the medication log and how much medication should be used. It all added up to the right amount. We wrote everything down. But yet we still paced every night our time home was a pregnant silence we didn't talk we just paced. It wasn't until a few days later I went to my sons family doctor and had a very long talk with her as well and emphatically pleaded our case. She sent a letter to the court on our behalf and then the final piece came through when I was pacing the house and God reminded me that I wasn't fighting. I literally fell to my knees and cried, no one was in the house but me and my newborn child.
I cried and cried and then I got mad. I got mad and I started do what I call pray yelling, I started to pace but with purpose, my hands they moved as I reminded God of the promises he made to me. “You have promised we are conquers, You have promised that my son is his fathers, We claim him as our child.” I yelled many things but when I was done it was like a weight was lifted. I knew then that I was pacing my fear rather praying my victory. As we sat in the car the day of the hearing I remember we didn’t talk much but we prayed before we went in. Nic had to go in by himself which as a wife is hard. BUT I knew where I was needed, I sat in that hallway and prayed, and my husband proceeded to give his case. We were prepared, we did our part now we needed God to do his. It was a Friday and the judge said that she would give us her answer, and Friday night our lawyer gave us the information that we had won the case. We were given back custody, and as a married couple our faith grew. When Nic showed up to get his son it was such a humbling experience for both of us and I think it made us better parents. The amount of relief, was like our first breath of fresh air and we knew that God deserved the recognition for this.
We cherished him more, and our faith in God was strengthened. We had two weeks that we lost him but it felt like a year, I think I aged more and blame a lot of my silver hair for this event. You see we still fought in this time, we still doubted at times but I learned to fight for my family, I learned to pray hard for my children. Patience is preparing and moving with purpose, if you are aimlessly pacing you are just exhausting yourself, but when you move with purpose, you pray with purpose you can rest while you war. I love Habakuk I read it in bible college when I had to but I really read it and loved how he put it. The nation of Israel were being taken over by the Babylonians and Habakuk was not happy about it, he cried out his complaints to God and God says In Chapter 2 wait and even if you think it isnt coming, wait some more it will come, just wait.
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