The Process of Giving Birth

So if you are a women and you are reading this you may know what the process of giving birth is like.  Each labor and birth can be completely different and memorable.   I was pregnant with my second daughter  I began having braxton hicks contractions in the beginning of my third trimester.   They lasted up until my mom had the doctor induce me at 38 weeks.
 Now, here is a not so known fact, but when you threatened to throw your mom off of a bridge, they tend to get a baby out of you.    Now I preface this to say at 36 weeks pregnant and pretty much no sleep she told me "oh you will get through this and the baby will be here before you know it." we were walking on the bridge at that time and I looked at her and told her I would throw her off the bridge.  She then had a conversation with my doctor about needing to get the baby out before 40 weeks.  He agreed as I was a complete wreck emotionally due to a few hours of uncomfortable rest every night.   My body wasn't finding rest at all, so he induced me.   After my water broke, my contractions came quick and fast and my baby's heart rate was dropping very low. I had planned on an epidural before I went into intense labor but,   I was placed on my side in full labor with no pain medication and had to breathe through every contraction, no medication, and pain.  My mom went into super coach mode and was massaging my back frantically as my husband was in front of me having me focus on him and breathing.  Oxygen was placed on me, and I was left on my side unable to move off of it in pain trying to relax my body, it consistently tensed up and it was so painful I whimpered and cried a little.  I was terrified I kept telling Nic "It hurts" and my mom kept talking firmly in my ear "keep breathing" Nic and her both spoke with authority in that moment. My mom was a rock star and kept pushing me through.  She would watch the monitor and her and Nic would talk me through and focus me for each contraction.  Still the baby's heart rate didn't go back up, I am a nurse so I knew something was wrong, no one would say it, but still I knew something was wrong.  Finally they got an epideral in my but I was fully dialted so when they placed me on my back I was ready to push.  I pushed like their was no tomorrow and nature took over, I was pushing her out and the doctor yelled "stop pushing, just breath" I wanted to hit him and say "Seriously!" but I breathed in short pats and trusted him because my mom and husband were saying just breath don't push, then he told me to push again and out came my baby.   What I didn't know during the process was my baby had an umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, so when she was in the birth canal her heart rate dropped.  That moment he was telling me not to push was the moment they were unwrapping the cord from her little neck.  Kincade is now 4 and she is my spitfire and I wouldn't trade her for anything.  
With that I say this though, that cord was around her neck before she was in the canal, and if she would have been in the womb for several more weeks it could have led to her death.  God knew and in my spirit it was uneasy and he used my emotions to push my mom towards getting her out much sooner.  It was a painful labor but my mom and my husband became a unit of teamwork in that moment that I have never seen before in my life.  Their goal was to get me through,  never once did they tell me to quit complaining.  They didn't say just give up, they didn't walk away and leave me to be in labor by myself,  they were there to get me through.  When the doctor told me to stop pushing the helped me through that so that my daughter wasn't choked by the umbilical cord.
    Some times when you are in a season of discomfort , pain, and confusion you need to do several things:  Know the baby is coming, have a team that will help you breath and coach you through the birth, and listen and trust those voices.  I was in a very vulnerable position and in that moment and there was nothing I could do about it.  I didn't care who saw me laying on my side with my bottom possibly hanging out of the gown.  I didn't know who came in that room other than the doctor, I didn't know what time it was or what was going on around me.  All I cared about was focusing on my mom and husband and making it through labor. I don't remember seeing much during that time other than my husbands face right in front of mine, and I hear my moms firm voice and felt her hands trying to massage my muscles into a relaxed state.
 After my water broke I gave birth in an hour, I was in labor for 14 hours, and I pushed three times.  But in that short time my body went from carrying a baby to being empty. When God is changing you and transitioning you through a birth period it may feel like time is standing still because it is so intense, but God is taking you quickly to another level.  My mom and my husband are two people that I love dearly and in other moments we have had arguments I think I have threatened both their lives before.  But in the moment of my vulnerability I trusted and relied on those two and they were my guides during the labor. Switch your focus from the pain that is going on in you to the one who is coaching you through each moment of pain.  God is birthing something in each of us, you need to be prepared for the labor process, keep focused, keep breathing, and when it is time: PUSH!

Salt and Light Part 1

Every season in your life is a waiting season.  Every season is leading you and setting you up for your next season.  So in saying that I want to spend some time encouraging you with something you need in every season.  Being salt and light.  Matt 5:13 says this: 

3 “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. -Message Translation 

So I was 27, frustrated with God waiting for him to reveal my calling, and being anxious and angry and just not full of his spirit.  I walk the same path every day, and while walking across the bridge that I always walk I was venting my frustration and God replied.  "God when are you going to allow me to do my call?  I want to do ministry, when will you allow me to quit my job and go into ministry full time" I prayed frustrated.  He replied with this "Why do you disregard your profession?" He asked me.  I replied "It's a job." exasperated by such a stupid question.   "Do you not realize how valuable your job is?  Cassie, you have physically touched more people in your nursing career than your pastor ever will.  You have walked into homes and shared my love, and been a light where there was none. You have had your hands in their bodies, seeing them at their worst and weakest, been covered in other peoples body fluids, and helped bring physical and emotional healing to your patients. Their is nothing greater than that.  How many conversations have you had with people and you led them to me?  How many times in their weakest, sickest moments did you get on your knees beside them and pray.  How many times have you encouraged those who were ready to give up sharing your testimony and my word. Every time you got a new patient to see you looked at it as an oppurtunity and you are expectant of the divine set up that I was doing.  And when people would be shocked when you would speak to them you would reply "Why do you think I'm here." How dare you disregard that as ministry. When you have been faithful with it."  I physically stopped walking and I was shocked and amazed by what I felt God was telling me.  My purpose didn't look like what I thought it would be, and I was discouraged because I didn't feel like I was important or valuable to the kingdom of God.  I wasn't taking on Sex trafficking, or winning thousands over, I was going into homes and giving not only physical nursing, but spiritual comfort.  God reminded me of how many times I prayed with people talked to them about their Job moments.  Encouraged them with stories, with scripture and would pray with them regarding Gods will.  Ladies if you can grasp onto this it will radically reshape the foundation of everything Christian.  I am called to be salt and light, to be in the world and not of it.  My purpose is to be Gods vessel wherever he places me.  Where has he placed you?  Are you being faithful?  Do you know how valuable this season is to what He wants to do in your life?  Ladies I just want to encourage that in every season we are to be salt and light, Gods vessels to lead people to Him.  

Ladies In Waiting : Ladies in Waiting Intro

Ladies In Waiting : Ladies in Waiting Intro: I wish I could sit here, with my coffee in hand, and tell you that I have enjoyed each season of my life.  The truth is, that up until the b...

Ladies in Waiting Intro

I wish I could sit here, with my coffee in hand, and tell you that I have enjoyed each season of my life.  The truth is, that up until the beginning of this year, I did not enjoy each season of my life. Truthfully I didn't "enjoy" any season of my life.  Ladies in waiting was actually formed in my twenties because that is exactly what I felt like.  A lady in waiting, never actually doing anything.  Waiting for my turn, pacing, frustrated, depressed, emotional,and angry, note that none of these are fruits of the spirit.  It was during my twenties that God developed internal values, set me free, and set me up with some divine relationships.  While in the process of waiting,  I went through feelings of being looked for leadership positions, being faithful when I didn't feel like it mattered, doing the best I could and still never feeling like I measured up, and I think I spent more time throwing my hands up in frustration wondering what God was doing.    My twenties were tear filled years and although I would never want to do them again, I wouldn't take them back for anything.  I would like to share with you why they were so valuable.
   I wasn't like other girls, I had a big mouth and a strong personality at a very young age. That didn't jive with the christian community I was growing up in.  The word submission was a curse word to me, I had seen it abused and used to control women, and I didn't play by the rules.  I knew at 14 that God was calling me to speak and leadership, and I  also knew at 14 that I was not going to do it.  "I will sing for you God, but I don't want to speak." Speaking was in my mind "mans" work and I knew that as a girl if I stepped out and spoke I would go through the very same hardships I saw my mom go through.  (My mom was a female minister when it wasn't ok and she fought for rights for women with in the church. ) I had too many fears and hurts concerning this and for a long time I was angry at God, convinced He wanted me to suffer through my life.  I was so frustrated I wasn't born a boy: "This would be easier God if you just made me a boy."  I would pray.  But God never changed his mind, every time I prayed I could hear always "leadership" and "be my mouth piece."
    In my  mid 20's I finally  completely surrendered to this call. I tried to manipulate my way around it, leading kids ministry, hiding behind a keyboard, and pretending to be something I wasn't.  But God continued to call me, and again it never changed, "leadership" and  "be my mouth piece."  During my 20's my husband grew more and more supportive of this.  He would whisper at night while I cried tears of frustration, hurt, pain, and bitterness, "You can do anything"  "I believe in you."   Every time I would be overlooked, talked about, attacked, he was the steady arm for me, and it was in my 20's he became my best friend.  I was set free of my childhood of sexual abuse, emotional abuse and spiritual abuse.  God healed my hurts, deep wounds, calmed my fears, and killed my pride, all in my twenties. He taught me to hear His voice and trust it above all of my circumstances.  To have faith in Him, and not what I can see.   Through this blog you will hear about my 20's because these for me were my foundation of being a Lady in Waiting.  Like David who learned how to trust God in the field or Joseph who learned how to trust God in slavery.  I learned how to trust God in my twenties, I placed the foundation of leadership in my twenties.  I want any women reading this to know God has a plan and a purpose for your life, not a work description or a role, but a purpose.  So lets settle in together every week and be Ladies in Waiting.

Ladies In Waiting : Dust or Diamonds?

Ladies In Waiting : Dust or Diamonds?: Together my daughter and I  love to watch Girl Meets World, its kinda our thing.  In the episode "Girl Meets New World."  Topanga ...

Dust or Diamonds?

Together my daughter and I  love to watch Girl Meets World, its kinda our thing.  In the episode "Girl Meets New World."  Topanga said something so profound. She looked at Riley and Lucas and said "The right kind of pressure will turn you into a diamond but the wrong type of pressure will turn you into dust." She was very emphatic and passionate about this and it resonated with me and probably every women out there.   

Pressure: it makes us or breaks us. I have seen so many women crumble under that exact thing. Everything in our world blasts us on what we are supposed to wear, how we are to act, what we listen to, what we buy, and how to raise our daughter's.  It is no wonder that our ladies in waiting are confused about where they are even supposed to start.  We have women in the world that are sold into sex slavery,genitally mutilated, oppressed, sexualized, objectified, marginalized, and silenced over and over again. They have no voice and cry out at night "Send someone to save me."  
     In our country 25% of young girls are molested, by either men in their family or close to the family. Young girls are bombarded with images of sex, bi sexual tendencies and promiscuity and our society encourages this upon our daughters. Our daughters, sing songs about being worshiped as a goddess and controlling men or being controlled by men.  Pornography is one of the largest income earners in the US. From books,movies, television, magazines,and commercial. It not only targets men but women.  most of those women who star in those films don't want to be doing what they are doing.  Our number one movie and number one book women will read or want to see is pornography.  Plain and simple.  The pressure of this world is turning our daughters into dust, they are crumbling and mothers and fathers are allowing them to do so in the name of "whats popular."  
    The United States has more freedom for women than other countries in the world.  So what do we do with it?  We write about clothes, jewelry, bows, make up, looking young,sex positions, parties, decor, and outward things that have no lasting legacy.  It is a sad day when we are more concerned about how our kids look than what we are putting into them.  It is a sad day when the next generation is hungry for change and wants to do something and we hand them distractions, put them to sleep with romance novels, magazines about the best sex positions, and how to make people look at you.  
   So the question is what do we do?  If you are a young women reading this and you are starting on your journey I say this to you:  be strong, love people, be courageous, be bold, learn, be teachable.  Surround yourself with strong women who see value in you, if you can't find one, I will be one.  Be willing to look in the mirror of your character and look for the flaws, the weaknesses and the strengths. Surrender to God daily and have faith that all things will work together for good.   Know that no one is the same, their is no cheat sheet to life.  A destiny or a purpose doesn't just "happen" but is unfolded over time.  Work hard, forgive much and get in life giving relationships.  These are the types of pressures that will turn you into diamonds. 
   God is not looking for women who want to look the part. He is looking for daughters who say "I am here, I am surrendered, Use me!"  What would happen if our mothers stepped up and became warriors for their families, helpmates for their husbands,  examples for their children and quit hiding behind the excuses they have. When we quit hiding behind the words of "balanced" and "submitting to my husband"  Human trafficking, orphans, foster care, abuse, sickness, poverty,and widows.  These are things that break Gods heart. Do they break yours?  If not maybe its time that during this waiting season you start to discover who you are and what God made you for.  You are leaving a legacy, what will it be?  Dust or Diamonds? 

Insights by Cassie: Change can begin with Never

Insights by Cassie: Change can begin with Never: 2 Cor 10:5” We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thoug...

Change can begin with Never

2 Cor 10:5” We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

“I never thought in my life I would be here.” I cried to my friend.  I looked at her across from her living room with tears in my eyes. I had finally come to my point of no return, I was completely “done with life” and I didn’t know if I could be the women I knew God was calling me to be.  It was hard, it hurt and I wasn’t seeing how this could help me.

“Do you think maybe God is trying to get you to a place where it doesn’t matter.” she asked gently.  I cried even harder, for several years of my life and I felt like I was under a stigma.  I was tired, no matter what I did in a sphere of my life I was wrong, I was never good enough and I was constantly talked about.   I was so  focused on my lack and I grew so angry at myself and just wanted to give up.

“Why couldn’t I be different?  Why couldn’t I just be who others wanted me to be?”  I felt like a failure and I felt like no matter what I did I would be looked at like I was wrong. Never adding up.

 

We prayed and I felt better, just having someone to confide in who wouldn’t be affected by the situation was a great weight lifted.  On the way home I heard a whisper “am I enough?” I didn’t want to listen to that voice, because I knew what it was asking.  I wanted God to change my situation, give me an easier task.  I wanted to be justified in how wrong people were about me. I wanted to hear people say exactly that.    But what God was asking  me to do was to stick it out, learn to stand even when I got nothing from it. Even when no one saw me I could be okay with who I was.  God didn’t move me from my circumstances but He changed my perspective.

God brought several scriptures to me that I stood on every day,and they helped me overcome this area of my life.    The first was: 2 Cor 10:5” We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Whenever my mind would go to a place that wasn’t holy and I would begin to feel myself slide down to that place of torture I would say “I take captive every thought in Jesus name.” Sometimes it was moment by moment.  Sometimes I yelled it in my car, when I would wake up, when I was working.   I had to start here because my thoughts were what was causing me pain and like a reel, were replaying every single thing that hurt me. It was a reminder of why not letting go of my pain couldn’t happen.  I started to gain peace and my focus was switched from external to internal.  As I started to do this I was able to look at the situation with less of a victim and more of a student.  When the hurt voice was silenced I saw how I first had to forgive and repent.  I first asked God to forgive me for not trusting him. I then had to ask for forgiveness because I was trying to trade who I was for a watered down version of me.  God didn’t create me to be suppressed but to be me complete.  That daughter was fierce, loud, fun and bold.  If you are struggling I would encourage you today to take captive every thought that doesn’t line up with who God says you are and be the women God created you to be.